


frittatas and steaks

by dearingsattler



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Canon-typical shenanigans, F/F, Fluff, Gen, Meet the Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:02:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26276098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearingsattler/pseuds/dearingsattler
Summary: In which the Doofenshmirtzs and the Flynn-Fletchers meet for the first time (supposedly)Vanessa has no idea what to expect
Relationships: Charlene Doofenshmirtz & Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz/Candace Flynn
Comments: 14
Kudos: 177





	frittatas and steaks

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything not abigail/stephanie in over a year but I started rewatching Phineas and Ferb and then CATU came out and bam! Suddenly I was in Candessa hell and here is the result
> 
> This basically started off as 'hmm Heinz and the boys get along quite well canonically' and 'Linda and Charlene are friends, how fun would it be if they didn't realize their kids were dating'. I'm sure you'll recognize what episodes I based this off of (I feel like the title makes it obvious)
> 
> Anyway, I've never written for this fandom before so I hope it turned out okay. And now, without further ado

Out of all possible outcomes, her and Candace’s parents getting along was the last one Vanessa had expected.

Of course, it was nothing against Candace’s parents; Linda and Lawrence were both lovely and Vanessa got along with them with ease. Though somehow, despite what you might have expected based on their kids, they really did seem quite normal. However, normal was not a term that could be applied to her own family, at least not to her dad.

Vanessa had been surprised to find out when she first brought Candace to her dad’s that they already knew each other. Or at least her dad seemed to know Candace, apparently the amnesia-inator had been fired at some point and he only had vague recollections of what had occurred around that time, but he was pretty sure Candace had been involved somehow.

Like she had said, normal was not a word that could be applied here.

Anyway, they had gotten along with a surprising amount of ease, her dad talking about his work and Candace the things her brothers built, Candace even calling up her brothers at one point so they could help him with a problem he had encountered when building his latest contraption.

Vanessa mentally apologized to Perry for that.

Brunch was an innocent enough affair; Vanessa was sure they could get through it without too much weirdness. Besides, it had been nice of Candace’s parents to invite them over and it would have been rude of them to say no. Candace, of course, was freaking out over the whole concept, but that was both par for the course for her and something that Vanessa happened to find utterly endearing.

As they pulled up in front of the house, Vanessa turned to her father. “And what are we not talking about today?”

Heinz sighed, “anything related to evil.”

“Exactly.” Vanessa saw her dad’s somewhat hurt expression and realized she was maybe being a bit harsh. “Sorry, it’s just it’s really important to me that this goes well. I really like Candace and it’s important to both of us that our families get along.”

“Hey,” Heinz said, reaching over to pat Vanessa’s arm. “I get it. I know I can be a bit of an oddball but trust me when I say I would never purposefully do anything to jeopardize this, I know how you feel about Candace and honestly I like her, she’s so much better for you than that Johnny character was.” He rolled his eyes as he mentioned Johnny.

Vanessa couldn’t help but giggle. “Yeah, not one of my better decisions. Anyway, you can talk about inventing just avoid the evil context, okay? I want to make a good impression.”

“That’s why I brought muffins.” Heinz reached into the backseat of the truck to grab a container of blueberry muffins.

Vanessa eyed them warily. “Norm didn’t make those, did he?” He still hadn’t learned that humans don’t eat eggshells.

“Oh, heavens no.”

Vanessa sighed in relief. “Okay good. Now, let’s do this,” she said, determination clear in her voice.

Vanessa could hear Candace as they got to the door, ringing the bell. “– _and you two had better act normal for once in your lives or you are so going to get it later –_ oh hey Vanessa, Dr. D. Come on in.” Candace immediately brightened as she opened the door. Vanessa raised an eyebrow at her, recognizing over-exaggerated fake cheerfulness.

“Thanks for having us,” Heinz responded, clearly believing Candace’s façade. “I brought blueberry muffins.” He presented her with the container.

“Ooh, my favourite.” This time Candace’s cheer seemed genuine.

“They’re something of a specialty of mine.” Heinz rubbed the back of his neck, not really sure what to say next.

“Hey, Dr. D!” Saved by Phineas. “We’ve got a few minutes before brunch is ready, want to come see what Ferb and I have been working on?”

Heinz glanced at Vanessa, who nodded. “Absolutely.”

“I’ll put these in the kitchen,” Candace indicated the muffins. Nodding, Heinz disappeared into the garage with the boys.

Vanessa, glad to finally have a moment alone with Candace, stepped closer to her and kissed her on the cheek. “Hey, you.”

“Hey, yourself.” Candace leaned into Vanessa, subconsciously relaxing somewhat.

“Today’s going to go just fine,” Vanessa assured Candace’s unspoken nerves.

“I’m that obvious, huh?” Candace asked, wryly.

“Maybe to me,” Vanessa winked at her. “Come on, let’s head into the kitchen.”

They made their way into the kitchen where Linda was finishing up the frittata. “Oh hi, Vanessa, how are you?”

“I’m good,” Vanessa answered, making her way around the corner. “Anything I can help with?”

“If you and Candace could set the table that would be great. Lawrence just went to grab some herbs from the garden.”

“Absolutely,” Vanessa said, following Candace as she went to gather plates and cutlery.

“Oh, are those muffins?” Linda asked, noticing the container Candace had put down.

“Yeah, my dad made them.” Vanessa grabbed a stack of plates from Candace as she spoke.

“How sweet.” Vanessa was glad to see that Linda seemed genuine. “Where is he by the way?”

“Phineas and Ferb wanted to show him something in the garage,” Candace answered, annoyance at her brothers barely contained.

“Oh, well when you’re done setting the table you should tell them to go wash up.” Linda seemed almost absent-minded, not noticing Candace’s stiffness as she answered.

Candace sighed in exasperation. “Yes, Mom.”

“It’ll be fine,” Vanessa murmured quiet enough for Linda to not hear as she and Candace set the table. “There isn’t exactly much they can get up to in under ten minutes. Besides, I set my dad some ground rules.”

“Ground rules have never stopped Phineas and Ferb.” Candace muttered, rollling her eyes. Vanessa sighed. “But I trust you.” She set the final plate down. “I better go grab them,” Candace said with a sigh.

Vanessa quickly glanced towards Linda to see her completely occupied by the stove before giving Candace a quick kiss on the cheek. “It’s all going to be just fine,” she insisted. Candace shot her a meaningful look before disappearing towards the garage.

“Oh hello, Vanessa, lovely to see you,” Lawrence said as he entered the kitchen, herbs in hand. “Is this what you wanted, Linda darling?”

“Exactly what I wanted,” Linda confirmed, taking them from Lawrence before turning back to the stove.

“Hi Mr. Fletcher,” Vanessa waved at him. “How are you?”

“Oh please, remember it’s Lawrence. And I’m good, been busy lately preparing for the annual antiques symposium next week, it’s shaping up to be quite the event.”

“Sounds fun?” Vanessa did quite like Lawrence, though she had trouble understanding the appeal of antiquing.

“Oh, it is,” Lawrence started. Thankfully, Vanessa was saved from a lecture on the intricacies of antiquing by Candace re-entering the room.

“They’re just washing up and will be here in a moment,” Candace announced.

“Good, in the meantime you three can help me put the food out on the table,” Linda instructed.

The four made quick work of the task and were just setting the last platters down on the table and Heinz and the boys entered. “Good timing,” Vanessa commented, walking over to meet her dad. “Linda, Lawrence, this is my dad, Heinz. Dad, these are Candace’s parents, Linda and Lawrence.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Lawrence said, holding out a hand.

“You as well,” Heinz said, accepting the gesture. He seemed sincere though distracted. He turned to Linda. “Have we met before? Something about you feels familiar.”

Linda was giving Heinz the same curious look. “I don’t remember but you do seem rather familiar.” Candace and Vanessa glanced at each other warily, not sure how this was going to turn out. “Oh well, maybe it’ll come to me eventually. For now, it’s nice to officially meet you. Vanessa is an absolutely wonderful girl; you must be proud.”

“Of Vanessa? Always.” She blushed as Heinz gave her a loving look. “I could say the same about Candace.”

“She has her moments,” Linda affectionately teased. Vanessa and Candace shared a sigh of relief.

“Well, now that you’ve met the whole family, let’s dig in.” Linda gestured towards the table and they all started moving to take their seats.

“Not the _whole_ family,” Phineas pointed out. “Where is Perry anyway?”

“Perry?” Heinz asked, confusion clear. Vanessa cringed inwardly; this was exactly what she had been hoping to avoid since she had made the connection between the Flynn-Fletcher family pet and the secret agent assigned to her father.

“Yeah, our pet platypus,” Phineas elaborated.

“Are all platypuses named Perry? Is that like a thing?” Heinz looked to Vanessa who resisted the urge to facepalm.

“You know a platypus named Perry?” Phineas asked.

Vanessa sent her father a warning glare as he went to answer. “I guess that’s one way of putting it,” he eventually said.

Phineas, thankfully, shrugged it off and conversation soon moved away from platypuses. Candace and Vanessa were both relived and somewhat surprised that brunch ended up being an overall pleasant affair, conversation flowing easily and no mention of evil or grand schemes making an appearance.

Inventing, however, had been a topic. When it had come out that Heinz was something of an amateur inventor, Linda had mentioned the boys’ budding interest in building things. Vanessa couldn’t help but snicker at Candace’s thinly veiled rage, thankful that her father played along with ease. “Really? You boys should come check out my lab sometime, I think you’d like it,” Heinz said.

“Can we?” Vanessa’s initial instinct had been to derail but when she saw the way Phineas’s eyes lit up she found she didn’t have it in her. Her father had been talking about tinkering with other robots to help Norm with household chores, maybe that could be an activity the three of them could take on.

“If it’s okay with your parents, sure.”

Phineas and Ferb turned expectantly towards their parents. “I don’t see why not,” Linda shrugged. “Sounds like fun for the two of you.”

Candace went to protest but was stopped by Vanessa placing a hand on her forearm, she shot her girlfriend a look only for her to gesture that she would explain later.

“You and Candace had plans after this, right Vanessa?” Vanessa nodded as her dad looked to her. “I’m not working today, if you’ve got nothing else going on, I’d love for you boys to come over this afternoon. I was planning on working on a dish washing robot, Norm is still yet to learn how to do the dishes without breaking them all.” Heinz rolled his eyes as he spoke.

“Norm?” The mention of robots seemed to pique both Phineas and Ferb’s interest.

“Yeah, I initially built him to help out with other tasks but that didn’t work out so well, so we’ve been trying out housework. He’s better at some tasks than others,” Heinz shrugged.

“Hmm,” Phineas turned to Ferb, “are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Ferb shot him a thumbs up. “We’re in,” he confirmed.

“Excellent,” Linda said. “And what are you girls up to this afternoon?”

“We were going to head to the mall to search for costumes for the 80s themed party Stacy is throwing next week,” Candace explained once Vanessa had elbowed her gently, snapping her out of bust-mode.

“Sounds like fun.”

The rest of brunch was filled with various small talk, ending with the agreement that they would have to do it again sometime. Heinz had disappeared with the boys once the remnants of the meal had been cleaned up with a promise to Vanessa that they would stick with the household robots and the ground rules would still apply.

That had satisfied Vanessa, but Candace remained antsy as they made their way to the mall. “Are you sure this is a good idea, I mean your dad seems harmless enough but who knows what he, Phineas, and Ferb will get up to when put in a lab together.”

“Dishwashing robots,” Vanessa deadpanned. Candace glared at her. “Look, I know it goes against your every instinct but just trust me, okay? I think it’ll be fine, not to mention it would do you some good to not obsess over them for a day.”

Candace sighed. “I suppose you’re right.” They stopped walking as they got to the bus stop. “But I’m probably going to slip,” she admitted sheepishly.

Vanessa found herself glad that the street around them was empty as she laughed, leaning forward to kiss Candace softly. “It’s okay, I’ll be here to catch you when you do.”

Anyone who knew Vanessa’s parents would have thought that she would be more worried about her father meeting her girlfriend’s family than her mother but truthfully it was the other way around. The Flynn-Fletchers had a certain eccentricity about them that Vanessa had noticed the more time she spent with them, one that Heinz’s complemented quite well. Vanessa appreciated that even if it sometimes drove Candace crazy.

Her mother, however, had her quirks but was overall incredibly frustratingly _normal_.

Once upon a time, Vanessa would have welcomed the normalcy with open arms and tried to hide her connection to her father as much as possible. But she had grown to love the chaos that came with being around her father in a way, and once she and Candace had started dating and she spent more time around her brothers, she began to appreciate the chaos even more.

Truthfully, she was questioning how well her mother would fit in with the Flynn-Fletcher family.

Linda and Lawrence were hosting a neighbourhood barbeque to make up for one that had apparently been botched earlier in the summer (Vanessa couldn’t help but wince when she realized why it had been) and had told Vanessa to bring her mother along as what better place was there to meet someone than a neighbourhood event?

Actually, it was a pretty good idea.

Charlene, while improving, wasn’t much of a cook, so Vanessa had taken over their contribution to the event. She did enjoy baking and brownies were always a welcome contribution no matter the event. Of course, it helped that Candace absolutely adored them.

“This neighbourhood is familiar,” Charlene commented as they found a place to park. There were quite a few cars around, so they’d had to park a few houses down.

“It’s the suburbs, Mom,” Vanessa pointed out. “They tend to all look similar.”

“I know, but still, there’s something about this particular neighbourhood,” Charlene trailed off thoughtfully. “Well, no matter. You ready?”

“Yep,” Vanessa grabbed the container of brownies and got out of the car. The walk to the Flynn-Fletcher backyard was short and Vanessa could see that the party was already in full swing. She spotted Candace easily, standing with her parents near the grill. The boys, however, were nowhere to be seen and neither were their friends. They were definitely up to something and from the look on Linda’s face, Candace was trying to convince her of that. Time to intervene. “Candace!”

Candace whirled around, frustration on her face quickly replaced with a smile. “Hey, Vanessa, glad you could make it. Ooh, are those brownies?” Her eyes lit up as she saw the container.

“You know it,” Vanessa grinned.

Meanwhile, Linda and Charlene had noticed each other. “Charlene? You’re Vanessa’s mom?” Linda’s eyes were comically wide.

“Linda? You’re Candace’s mom?” Charlene’s voice was full of disbelief.

“Wait, wait, wait, you two _know_ each other?” Vanessa said, her and Candace sharing a glance, both unsure what to think.

“Well, yeah, we take a cooking class together every Wednesday.” Charlene turned to look at Vanessa. “I thought you knew that.”

“I knew that you were taking a cooking class, not that you were taking it with my girlfriend’s mom,” Vanessa protested.

“I could say the same thing,” Candace added.

“To be fair we started taking classes long before the two of you started dating,” Linda shrugged. “Anyway, Charlene, you should come check this out, I’m using one of chef’s tips,” Linda said to Charlene, the two of them walking off, discussing something pertaining to their class.

“Well, that was,” Vanessa paused, searching for the right word, “unexpected.”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Candace agreed. “On the bright side, I don’t think we have to worry about your mom and my parents getting along.”

“And thank god for that,” Vanessa quipped. “Where are your brothers by the way?”

“Mom actually asked them to do the fireworks show for tonight, can you believe that?” Smoke coming out of Candace’s ears would not have been out of place.

“How bad could that really be? They are far less likely to blow anything up than my dad.” Vanessa rolled her eyes affectionately.

Candace slumped. “I suppose you’re right.” She perked up once more. “I’ll leave them alone for now but as soon as things get weird, it’s busting time.”

“I can live with that.” Vanessa wrapped an arm around Candace. “For now, though, how about we go mingle?”

Vanessa wasn’t exactly used to the concept of suburban life and so a neighbourhood barbeque such as this wasn’t something she had experienced before but, overall, she found the evening to be pleasant. She maybe wasn’t great at small talk herself, but Candace was, so she allowed her to take the lead, trailing along beside her as she caught up with neighbours and introduced Vanessa to them. Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro in particular was amusing as she fussed over the both of them, Vanessa could see where Isabella had gotten her caring nature from.

Of course, they did finally come across the boys and their friends who were apparently making their own fireworks from scratch. Candace had immediately run off, yelling for their mom while Vanessa decided to take a more level-headed approach, running through a safety check with them, making sure they weren’t doing anything dumb. She had enough experience from her dad blowing himself up constantly to know what to look for. Once satisfied, she went to fetch her and Candace dessert, bringing it back just in time to console Candace when she failed to bust the boys yet again.

Not that she would tell Candace, but Vanessa thought the kids had outdone themselves with the fireworks show, it had been absolutely spectacular. The crowd had been in awe and even Candace had made a begrudging comment about how the show was alright.

High praise indeed.

“This was actually surprisingly fun,” Vanessa said to Candace as they finished up the dishes in the kitchen. The neighbourhood had mostly returned home but Vanessa and Charlene had offered to help with the cleanup.

“Well it’s no scrapyard invasion party,” Candace shot Vanessa a wry look. “But I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

Vanessa took advantage of the empty kitchen to shoot Candace a flirty look. “How could I not? Look at the company I had.” She giggled as Candace blushed. “But seriously, it was nice meeting more people that are part of your life and truthfully I enjoyed the community vibe going on, you don’t really get that with my mom living out in the hills and my dad living where he does. You still owe me that next scrapyard rave though, I’m holding you to your end of the bargain,” she added on to save face.

Candace giggled, giving Vanessa a quick kiss. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” She paused. “Does one need any sort of safety equipment for a scrapyard party?”

“Vanessa!” Came Charlene’s voice before Vanessa could answer. “You ready to go?”

“That’s my cue, see you tomorrow?” Candace nodded and Vanessa returned her kiss. “Good night, babe.”

“Good night,” Candace echoed before realizing, “hey, you didn’t answer my question.”

“I’ll text you later,” Vanessa called over her shoulder as she made her way out of the house.

“So, did you have fun?” Charlene asked as Vanessa caught up to her and they got in the car.

“I did,” Vanessa answered. “I take it you and Candace’s parents got along just fine?”

“Oh yeah, Linda and I have been friends for years. Honestly, I’m not sure how neither of us made the connection before tonight, I mean we’ve both mentioned our kids by name several times before, it should have been so obvious.”

Vanessa couldn’t help but giggle as her mother rambled. “Well, it means a lot to me either way, I know you were a bit,” she paused, “skeptical, shall we say, of all this at first.” Vanessa’s words rang loudly, both of them understanding that ‘this’ meant more than just meeting Candace’s family.

“I was at first,” Charlene admitted slowly. “But I realize now that I had no need to be. As your mother all I want is for you to be happy, and it’s become clear to me that you are. So what if your relationship isn’t necessarily considered traditional, there’s nothing about your life that could be considered traditional, I mean look at your father.” She rolled her eyes.

Vanessa laughed. She loved her father, but he was easily the strangest person she knew. “Thanks Mom,” she said, voice full of emotion.

They drove in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Charlene spoke once more. “So, Linda and I were talking, and we were thinking that the four of us – you, me, Linda, Candace – should all go get our nails done together this weekend, maybe grab lunch. What do you think?”

Vanessa thought about it for a moment before shrugging. “Sounds like it could be fun.” It wasn’t a lie, it would likely be a bit awkward to begin with, but it could be fun, at least once Candace relaxed about both the concept – though she was slowly getting better about her need to impress Vanessa’s parents – and what her brothers might be up to. As if on cue her phone buzzed with a text, Linda must have pitched the idea to Candace.

“Yeah, we thought so. We were thinking maybe we’d hit that sushi restaurant for lunch, it’s just around the corner from Bab’s, they just got some new colours in and Linda and I have been talking about going for a while. How does that sound?” Charlene glanced at Vanessa hopefully as they pulled to a stop at an intersection.

Vanessa looked at the text she had received from Candace, noticing it to be a combination of nerves ( _what if I make a fool of myself?_ ) and excitement ( _it’s been soooooo long since I’ve had sushi_ ). That was all she needed to see. “Sounds great.”

“Good,” Charlene smiled. “I’m glad we all get along.”

As another text from Candace buzzed through, Vanessa felt herself smile wider than usual. “So am I, Mom, so am I.”

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, new fandom for me so I hope you all enjoyed it, I would love to hear what you think!
> 
> Also, because lbr someone is gonna at least think this, I know there's a canon ship for which this premise could have also worked but tbh I'm not a fan of said ship (though Ferb's crush is adorable) and I like the dynamic Heinz could have with Phineas and Ferb this way.
> 
> Anyway, I'd definitely like to revisit these two (I may or may not have some ideas on how to write CATU where they're a couple), so feel free to come talk to me on tumblr about them (also dearingsattler)
> 
> Until next time!


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